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Nanda Ormond
Wind’s onshore, swell’s gutless, it’s raining ice, your steamer smells of pee, that dog bite on your ankle is ulcerating, your armpit rashes are burning and the shoreline is covered in bluebottles, jellyfish and bull sharks with lazers glued to their heads. Despite all this you paddle out anyway. As soon as you surface from that first duck dive one thought enters your mind. It was worth it.
Paddling Out No Matter What
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Wind’s onshore, swell’s gutless, it’s raining ice, your steamer smells of pee, that dog bite on your ankle is ulcerating, your armpit rashes are burning and the shoreline is covered in bluebottles, jellyfish and bull sharks with lazers glued to their heads. Despite all this you paddle out anyway. As soon as you surface from that first duck dive one thought enters your mind. It was worth it.
Nanda Ormond
Giving Your Fellow Surfer A Wave
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Surf’s up and you’re on a mad roll but on your outside you spot a bloke who’s been struggling to pick them off. You yell for him to go the next bomb. When he paddles back out you realise it’s James Packer. He invites you to his casino where the Victoria’s Secret after party is on. tYou give yourself a high five for taking Duke Kahanamoku’s advice, “Give wave away. Plenty more wave to come.”
Nanda Ormond
Cup Of Joe
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Your oldest mate sleeps with his mouth open and he’s probably unwittingly eaten a thousand spiders. He’s not a morning person at the best of times and struggles to get out of bed for the early. So you turn up to grab him for the dawny with a piping hot cup of coffee and a freshly squeezed pineapple and mint juice. One cup for the adrenalin rush, one for the rancid breath that follows.
Nanda Ormond
Always Having Wax In Your Car
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Sounds simple doesn’t it? But in fact having wax, fin keys, wax combs and leggie strings around when you need them most requires a discipline the equivalent to karate, jiu jitsu, octogan fighting, origami, bonsai manipulation and tai chi all rolled into one. As Confucius says, “Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.”
Nanda Ormond
Hooting Yourself Into A Good One
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Hooting your own achievements could in some ways be considered un-Australian. Nobody likes a show pony after all. But there is a signicant difference between claiming yourself to be some sort of Mr Rippedy Doo Dah and letting out a simple generous bellow of gratitude when the ocean delivers you a six-to-eight foot teepee to slide into. So hoot away little owls. The night is yours!
Nanda Ormond
Having A Spare Dry Wettie
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Just like the wax thing, having a dry wettie the morning after the previous arvo’s session takes preparation, commitment and a will of iron. Get that thing in the dryer pronto or even better, get yourself a spare.
Nanda Ormond
Getting An Outdoor Hot Water Shower
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The wheel. The abacus. The button. The hat with two beer cans on either side. Necessity is the mother of genius ideas. Nothing beats the hot shower on the outside of the house though. Someone needs a nobel prize for that shit.
Nanda Ormond
Sharing The Stoke
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Why do so few surfers congratulate their fellow wave shredders upon seeing something extraordinary? Is it a case of jealousy or inferiority? Or are we just arseholes? Try all of the above. Props where props are due please.
Nanda Ormond
Surfing Without A Leggie
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Watch the Fannings and Parkos and Gilmores of this world ride a wave from beginning to end and you begin to appreciate that good surfing is so much more than one high impact moment. Cast off your leash. Feel the rhythm.
Nanda Ormond
Riding Different Boards
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“Hello! McFly! McFly! Anybody home McFly?” If you’re only riding one type of board in this day and age you need to check yourself before you stagnate yourself. Mix it up and dig the thrill of variation.
Nanda Ormond
Forgiving An Accidental Drop In
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Ghandi said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mark Twain said, “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” So what are you? A weak heel or a strong scent?
Nanda Ormond
Tidy Surfer
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You’re running down the track when you spot a chip packet blowing by. You crouch, wait for the perfect moment then BLAM! You nail it with your steely talon. You pop it in the nearest bin. You are the greatest hero known to man.
Nanda Ormond
Shorey Connections
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What’s that on the beach? A crazy lookin’ babe sunning it up? Catch one in, stand in the shallows for a while looking at the waves, then slowly turn, swipe the wet fringe out of your face and lock eyes with your future ex.
Nanda Ormond
Getting A Wave In
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Why is this such an underrated move? Because how many times at the end of the day, an hour and a half after you decided to go in, are you left out the back in the dark with your stinky pee wettie and those lazer shooting bull sharks?
Nanda Ormond
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