Kelly's Pool vs Rio, Taj Wins Pumping Keramas, and Namibia's Fresh Perspective – This Week In Surfing
Ten Things From Surfing & The Internet On The Week That Was May 13, 2016
1. Kelly Surfs His Pool, Doesn't Go To Rio
Another week, another video from Kelly Slater's magical mystery pool. This one is the king's own, featuring one single, ridiculously long, perfect wave. Kelly pulled out of the comp at Rio that's happening right now for "personal reasons". Personally, I think having your own personal perfect wave pool is a pretty good personal reason. The Oi Rio Pro has been under some significant online criticism this year following reports surfers were concerned about the Zika virus, the WSL building a foot-bridge to the water for surfer/crowd safety, and the eventual move of the contest venue for lack of a contestable bank.
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2. The Oi Rio Pro Started
The other day a girl I like and I walked into a bookshop and we played a game where we had to buy each other a book without them seeing. I got her No One Belongs Here More Than You by Mirdanda July and she got me Leaving The Atocha Station by Ben Lerner. It's about a fraudelent poet on a fellowship in Spain. It's pretty funnny and I'm enjoying it, but mostly it's just been really nice to get back into reading during the early rounds of this comp.
Seriously though, to get to the question as to whether or not the WSL should run a major CT in Brazil... the answer is: Of course they should! Brazil has the last two World Champions and probably the biggest and most passioned fan-bases the sport of surfing has ever had. If there wasn't a comp there it would be completely unjust, and as for safety, if they can run the Olympics and the World Cup there, then why not surfing? Doesn't mean I'm going to watch the event till Round 5, though.
3. Taj Won Pumping Keramas
In stark contrast to the above beachbreak comp, the minor QS event, Komune Bali Pro, was run by the Mad Hueys and won by Taj Burrow for the second year running, in just sah-moking waves. The tube he got in the dying gasps of the event to clinch the win was the sickest. And what about this video? When people tell me that surfers are bogans, that we're an uncultured mob, I explain how far we have come as a culture, how the modern surfer has evolved to a sophisticated and sensitive post millenial, I point them to the Pullitzer Prize Winner, I talk about Ace Buchan, I show them videos from the Mad Hueys.
4. Medina Got a Samsung Surfboard
This is straight up the weirdest and most nonsensical thing on surfing's corner of the Internet right now. Samsung made a board for Medina specifically so he can communicate with his coach, which would be a fun little experimental piece if it wasn't presented to us so freaking earnestly.
"The Galaxy Surfboard was specially developed for Gabriel Medina to improve communication between him and his coach. In no way is it intended for amateur surfing or for leisure activities" says the YouTube blurb for this.
In no way was it intended for anything, really. The video explains that the board can tell him the conditions... while he's in the conditions. That's kind of like standing in the sun on a 40 degree day and asking a stranger if it's hot or not. Then step-dad/coach Charlie uses the board tech to text the former World Champ some much needed guidance. "Hit the lip with more power," he instructs. Thanks, Charlie.
This is a pretty disappointing departure from Samsung's more recent forays in surf advertising who before this abomination made some pretty legit ads.
P.S. Why does every Samsung surfing ad have that greyish filter over it like it's a scene from a David Fincher film?
5. I Want To Surf Like Conner Coffin
Can you imagine how much we'd all be freaking on Conner Coffin's rail surfing if he was Australian? "New Hoyo!" we'd be saying. "Now that's true blue Aussie surfing!" we'd be saying. "Can you get us a sausage roll and a Passiona from the tuck shop," we'd be saying, but that one isn't relevant. Conner Coffin is the best young(ish) rail surfer in the world, and this edit proves why.
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6. Shawn Barney Barron Tribute Doco
A 30 minute film to honour Santa Cruz surf icon, Shawn Barney Barron. Barney died a couple of days past a year ago from a ruptured aorta, he left a legacy befitting of the wildness of where he's from –innovative aerial surfing, and hard charging cold-water big wave surfing – this film is a celebration of his memory as told by his closest buddies in surfing.
7. Jamie O'Brien Surfs Pipe On Foam Longboard
Pipeline is a challenging and intimidating place to go surfing. It's famous for how intimidating it is. It's kind of the whole deal about the place, you know, that it's scary and demands respect. How rude, then, it is for Jamie O'Brien to go out there on a ridiculous board and treat it like a shorebreak out the front of a caravan park on Christmas holidays. Barrelled off his head on a fluro green foamie, ridiculous.
8. Namibia's Drone Angle Might Be Better Than POV
Oh, how nice it is to see Skeleton Bay from a pulled back aerial angle! The fresh perspective out of the tube is as refreshing as can of coke on a Sunday morning, and has us wondering... is this the best wave in the world? (Answer: No. Reason: It's a left).
9. Dane Has a New Surfboard
Att: CW Chief Swell Forecaster, Mr. Ben Macartney, Dane has a new surfboard! BEN! Are you hearing this?! Yeah, so Britt Merrick and Dane Reynolds have collaborated on a new board model called the Black and White. This news means that Dane has now released more Merrick board models than Radiohead has released albums. How stupidly well does he surf a nice right point, though? Man, oh man.
10. Here's a Video of a Shark Deterrent working
Remember power balance bands? Those things you strapped to your wrists so that you had better strength and balance? The ones the CSIRO proved farcical? This has nothing to do with those except that I'd gladly wear a piece of shark deterrent technology whether it worked or not just to have the ignorant bliss of peace of mind in the water. Take me if you want, dear shark, but please do not torture me with the fear in waiting.
And that was this week in surfing. Have a good weekend everyone.
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